When an alligator wants to cross a lake and wants to protect her offspring during the crossing, she carries it in her mouth. However, if the animal feels hungry during the process, she eats the baby.
This is what actually happens with parents sometimes. There are moments in which they want to protect their children so much that they end up "eating" them.
Sadly, there are some children (and I've seen this with my students) who do not even have their own opinion. They are extremely and forcely attached to the opinion of their parents.
I think parents should take care of their children but giving them enough space as to think, speak, act, and feel by themselves. They should give their children the opportunity to develop their OWN IDENTITY which might not have any similarity with theirs. They should understand that loving someone means being together and accompanying that person during the good and bad moments of his life. It does not mean deciding or influencing that person's feelings.
There are times in which I've met parents who even answer questions I have asked to their children.
ME: "Juanita, do you like going to the movies?"
JUANITA'S MUM: "Yes, she loves it"
ME: -.-
JUANITA: Well, I like it because mummy says it is really fun.
I know I will have my own children eventually, and I strongly hope I can be the kind of mother who teaches her child to be him/herself. I want to be the kind of mother who teaches her son to act accordingly to what his heart tells. I hope I can be the kind of mother who understands that her child is not a continuation of her own feelings and desires but that he can think differently and dream about other dreams different from those of his mother.
I hope, I hope, I hope.
I hope I can be a good mother and protect my children without "eating" them.
First of all, Nadine, congratulations for your blog. I loooove the way you´ve displayed it. It is really colourful and fun.
ReplyDeleteI think I am quite qualified to post a comment here: I´ve been a daughter of somebody, and I am the mother of four...
As a daughter, I have really suffered my parents, who did not allow me to go anywhere and controlled my life to an extent I finished storming (quite angrily) out of the house one day. On the other hand, admittedly, they provided me with a good education and they deeply loved me.
As a mother, I have strived for not committing the same mistakes with my kids: I only bothered them (a lot) with the thing of their studies. Appart from that, I encouraged them to go along by their side.
But, you know? I think that parents cannot learn at any school, and poor us, we do what we can with the elements life has given us. At the turn of the life we realise that our poor parents did what they coud and we end up by understanding them... The same will happen with you, in the near future. For sure.
So the point is: live your life as a mother and try to love and to hug them as much as you can. If you are sincere, that is the best thing you can do...A.
HI girls! After Reading your post Nadine, and your comment, Adela, I feel in the middle of the two of you. I'm a mother of a six-year-old and a three-year-old. Hence, I'm learning to be a mother as my kids are growing up (poor kids!), and I can say that it is really a hard and at the same time exciting, but sometimes exhausting task. I am a daughter and I also have, and still am, suffering my parents in the sense that I'm stuck between my principles and values, stereotypes and hopes for the future, and theirs. It is true that they did, and are doing what they can. I also agree with Adela in that I try not to commit the same mistakes (although I have commited some I must confess). Actually, they will not leave their childhood unscathed. They will suffer us even though we don't want them to. Nevertheless they will grow up and hopefully, fullfil their dreams...
ReplyDeleteHi everybody! It's great to have so many different views towards a certain topic!! I agree with you Nadine that sometimes parents are overprotecting their children. However, I think parents do this because they think that through this manner they are providing the best of themselves to their offsprings. And I also agree with Fernanda, because it's true that parents were children once and that one day they became parents! So, it must be difficult for them to learn to be a good mother or father!
ReplyDeleteMy parents are the best ones in this world. They help me, they support me, they give me all I need (not all I want), they are... they are... more than perfect. (Bear in mind I'm their daughter that's why I say so haha) The important thing here is that they don't overprotect me, they don't ask me anything, but it's me the one who thinks I owe them everything. That's the reason why I'm such a highly self-demanding person. Not because of me, not because I need to be perfect, but for them.
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