Say I LOVE YOU instead of GOODBYE

            This week I  saw a movie (whose title I don’t remember because it was one of those movies played at TELEFE) that set me thinking about an aspect of life I had not paid attention to before and that changed my viewpoint completely.       

         The movie was about a couple that had been arguing for economic reasons. They were finding it hard to come to an agreement and, consequently, the man decided to go for a walk in order to refresh his mind, take some air, and make his thoughts clear. The woman shouted very angrily at him while he was leaving home.  -She regretted those words for her entire life-   

             It was a rainy day. The man, jogging over the edge of a river, suddenly slipped in the wet ground and hit his head with a stone. He remained lying unconscious by the river for the whole day. Some hours later, police officers found him there and took him immediately to hospital where doctors told his wife he was in coma. He never awoke again.       

           What I learned from the movie is that I have to make sure my boyfriend leaves home knowing perfectly well that I LOVE HIM.           

     You can be really angry and you may want to say terrible things to the person you love, but, just before saying those terrible things which you know will hurt him, try to think that those can be the last words he hears from you. So, the reflection I got to after watching the movie is: never say I hate you (unless you really hate someone and you don’t care whether that person is dead or alive– it’s a joke, of course, you shouldn’t hate anybody -). Never say hurtful words. Instead, make sure your loved ones know you love them. Take a minute to kiss them and tell them how much you appreciate having them by your side. Do this with your mom, as well. Nothing will happen to you if you stop for a minute and tell her: MOM, I LOVE YOU.             

   SAY I LOVE YOU INSTEAD OF GOODBYE.

LOVE U GIRLS :) 

What is happening to us?

          

  

 Last night I went to the supermarket to buy some things I needed to make a cake (yes! me about to make a cake, awkward, isn’t it?). Well, as hard as it may seem, I was there, shopping and pretending to be the perfect housewife who compares prices at the supermarket gondola shelves and who knows exactly what is best and for what.

When I left the supermarket, I walked back home and, on my way, I witnessed something which: scared me in the first place, and set me thinking about our society.  

                I saw three boys (they were not older than my 12-year-old sister) running out of a drugstore. Right after them, the shop’s owner came out of the place. Of course the woman could not follow them since she couldn’t leave the store. The poor lady was crying and her cry resembled impotence more than fear.  The boys had stolen some sweets and some drinks (not much if we think about money and the cost of the objects, but a lot if we think of what they were doing at their age). I felt helpless.

                That night I couldn’t stop thinking of what it is that WE as a society, as a community, as human beings are doing wrong. Who is to blame for those children?  Is it government?, is it parents?, is it us?

                I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of guilt and shame for those little boys. I am about to become a teacher, and, when I saw those children I thought and imagined they could be my students.

                I really feel something should be done. I think some policies should be made to control the situation and to provide all children with their rights. Children like those should be at home, with their parents, preparing to go to school, being cared for, having a shower, having dinner; they shouldn’t be in the street, stealing. Many things came to my mind and now I’m wrapped in the feeling of guilt and shame.

 WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US? Where is our sense of prosperity, our sense of future? What can we do? Where do we start? For the time being, I will start by teaching my students not just English.

Overprotected

When an alligator wants to cross a lake and wants to protect her offspring during the crossing, she carries it in her mouth. However, if the animal feels hungry during the process, she eats the baby. 

This is what actually happens with parents sometimes. There are moments in which they want to protect their children so much that they end up "eating" them. 

Sadly, there are some children (and I've seen this with my students) who do not even have their own opinion. They are extremely and forcely attached to the opinion of their parents. 

I think parents should take care of their children but giving them enough space as to think, speak, act, and feel by themselves. They should give their children the opportunity to develop their OWN IDENTITY which might not have any similarity with theirs. They should understand that loving someone means being together and accompanying that person during the good and bad moments of his life. It does not mean deciding or influencing that person's feelings. 

There are times in which I've met parents who even answer questions I have asked to their children. 

ME: "Juanita, do you like going to the movies?"

JUANITA'S MUM: "Yes, she loves it" 

ME:  -.- 

JUANITA: Well, I like it because mummy says it is really fun.

I know I will have my own children eventually, and I strongly hope I can be the kind of mother who teaches her child to be him/herself. I want to be the kind of mother who teaches her son to act accordingly to what his heart tells. I hope I can be the kind of mother who understands that her child is not a continuation of her own feelings and desires but that he can think differently and dream about other dreams different from those of his mother.

I hope, I hope, I hope.

I hope I can be a good mother and protect my children without "eating" them.

and this is what happened...

Well people, look at the picture and it will explain what happened with the mother of my student this week... 

ha ha ha, No, I'm not serious, of course...

What really happened was that I explained to her that she shouldn't be so demanding... She didn't agree and told me that her child should study hard and that how could it be possible that she got an 8 if she had spent almost the whole night studying    :O

Poor Pili, I really feel pity for her..

Anyway, the kind conversation ended with me telling the woman that I would make Pilar feel I am ABSOLUTELY proud of her and that she never dissapoints me at all....On the contrary, I am proud of her 8!! 

If only people knew how strongly they can influence their child with their expectations (which are sometimes linked to their own and personal desires rather than their children's), I'm sure they would change many of them. It would be extremely sad if a child spends his/her entire life trying to fulfill not his expectations but someone else's.
How many times do you hear someone saying he wants to be a lawyer only because his dad is one? Well, that's what I mean.  Parents should let their children be themselves and, most importantly, think by themselves.

I hope this mother understands this point soon, otherwise his poor little child will pay the price of being the daughter of a frustated person who sets in her child goals that are not actually hers.